Making the demons piece was a mental and creative break that I desperately needed. I just went in with my own ink, my brush, and my paper. I didn’t want to put pressure on myself about any linework or tracing before so I just went through the many things that I had running through my brain and put them into a paper format. Firstly, making this piece gave me a lot of art confidence that I needed. I worked from the objects around me as well as images from my brain to create my figures that keep me up at night. I play with the physical space of the bed and the space of my brain and how often at night the two become indistinguishable.
Although I paint a few different faces as demons, the only object that I give a real “face” to was the cup of paint brushes. I didn’t feel like just the cup of brushes could convey the truly bad feeling that looking at my dusty art supplies gives me. It is a creature, a demon.
It’s also been one year since I made a verbal commitment to myself to make more art. I made this commitment last year when I treated myself to some new art supplies and ventured into the world of Inktober, a daily drawing challenge throughout the month of October. As Inktober this year started to roll around, I was reminded of my (failed) commitment last year… But then I stopped.
I looked at the incredible growth I have made in the past year, experimenting with new mediums and processes as well as making the full commitment to an Art Major. This year I made hella money off of my art…. Like a lot. I sold many of my prints last month. My comic is about the process of acceptance with my art that I am still actively working towards. Many days I beat myself up about my lack of making, due to my overcommitment to social justice and other extracurriculars at this school. Every day, I scribble in the margins of my papers, on top of old readings, on the inside of planner pages, in hopes of these small bursts of non-commital making help me advance my craft and skill. I often take the time of pen to paper for granted, but I am beginning to find beauty and solace in these tiny escapes.
Making this comic made me step back and congratulate myself for this growth I have made in the past year, something I don’t do hardly enough. I am working on a larger path to self-love and acceptance, of all my demons. My demons make me who I am. I am hoping to working alongside them rather than against them. I hope to turn that dusty cup of brushes into a happy, overused glass full of tools.
However, the dust that collects reminds me of the other important work that I am doing, to make a future where making art is easier and more accessible to folks like me. I know that all of my work is important and it was so beneficial to turn that feeling into a comic.