So you know how in my last post I went on a super fun trip and everything was great and I hoped for many more safe adventures? Well, I jinxed myself. Be prepared for a text-heavy rant.

Boy have things changed since we talked last dear blog readers. Currently this past week I have been isolated in a fantastically demoralizing apartment here in the Stockholm suburb of Sollentuna, because of a potential covid exposure over the weekend of my trip to Kiruna. Let me tell you all about it.

When we returned from Kiruna last Monday morning, I went straight to DIS since I had an early morning class. I had been there for about ten minutes when Marcel pulled me out and told me to head home because someone in our travel group was showing covid symptoms. Not an ideal situation. I gathered up all my bags and made my way to the train station, while also texting my host family about the situation. I was about halfway home when I got a text saying they were uncomfortable with having me come back if I was exposed to covid, which makes perfect sense. So there I was, sitting at the subway stop, exhausted, and with a thousand bags trying to figure out what my next move was.

After talking with our lovely DIS staff, they decided my best option was to take a cab up to Sollentuna where DIS has our reserved isolation apartments for this very situation. So I made my little way up here, met McKenna to get the keys to one of the rooms, and closed the door behind me. Little did I know how comfortable I would have to become with this silly little room.

My dear friend Lis, the one experiencing symptoms and a fellow blogger, got her test results on Tuesday of last week, confirming that she was in fact covid positive. Did not look too good for the rest of our covid prognoses, especially me, since we had the most sustained contact between class on Friday and our trip this weekend. The rest of us, per the Swedish Health Authority’s instructions, had to wait four days before getting a test ourselves to give the potential virus time to show up on test results. So I settled in to wait for the long haul.

Let me clarify that Kim, there’s people that are dying. I realize that there are many things worse in this world than having to be locked in a very acceptable Swedish apartment and having food provided for me while I still attend my classes on Zoom. I haven’t had any symptoms from the day that I stepped in here up through this very moment that I’m writing this. Things could be much worse and I realize that.

But as a pretty extroverted person on a study abroad semester in a foreign country, this really really sucks. I do not like to be alone by myself for this long with the inability to see anyone. It reminded me too strongly of all the similar situations I found myself in last year, and that affects my mental health very negatively. I thrive off of being able to see people, to see things, to go places, to experience new feelings, and being stuck in here for a week has robbed me of all that.

It wouldn’t even be that bad if I didn’t also have beef with the Swedish healthcare process. First of all, since none of us have a personnummer, the Swedish equivalent of a social security number, we aren’t able to benefit from the extremely quick and efficient home testing network, where the Swedish government provides you with a test delivered to your home that you do yourself, and get results often within a day or two. Since we aren’t able to use that system, those of us needing a test had to go to mobile testing stations placed around the Stockholm suburbs, and wait in line for potentially several hours to get a test result. Get into the systemic discrimination and healthcare inequity with that one.

And since we had to take our tests that way, there’s also no way to track your result or if it has been processed, one just has to wait for the magic text saying your results are available. We all got our tests on Friday of this past week, and almost everyone got their results Friday evening or Saturday morning, all negative. Except for one person. Guess who. As I write this here on this Sunday morning, I still have not yet received any result.

It hasn’t been all bad. I’m extremely lucky to have a program that supports me with food and shelter while I have to do this, to protect my family and everyone else at the program. It’s been nice to see another part of town and some different scenery for a change. And I’ve had some very lovely visitors and friends bring me gifts and kind tidings that have made things quite a bit easier.

But it really makes you remember how short our time is here. I’ve basically had a week pulled out from underneath me with no warning, and nothing to be done. When time is in short supply here in Sweden, it’s hard not to spiral with the implications of what could have been done in this week had I not been trapped inside. Especially since I have not had any symptoms and everyone else has tested negative, I feel a bit like I got the short end of the stick.

I tend to get really angry at unchangeable events in bursts. I had a wave of frustration in the shower last night about this. There’s no one to blame for this situation, and no one’s at fault, which almost makes it worse. I know this is the right thing to do to keep everyone safe, and I’m willing to bite the bullet for that. But it sucks to know deep down, that when I walk into school on Monday after a week of this, that it will all have been moot. If it were someone’s fault, like mine, or DIS’s, or Lis’s, or anyone’s, it would be easier to process. But the fact of the matter is that this is simply how the cookie has crumbled. And I don’t do well with that.

I am very much looking forward to being rid of this place, and returning to my somewhat-normal life here. But this has been a stark reminder of how the world still is reeling from the effects of this pandemic. I can say that I hope that this won’t happen again, but I really don’t know. Anything could change between now and my next post. But after taking my time in here, and having an opportunity to be confronted with my situation, I think I’ll have learned yet even better how to treasure all the little moments in this country. I don’t want to take this opportunity for granted again.

in short, GET VACCINATED!