This is a post about finding love and falling into it. This is not a post about dating while studying abroad. The only knowledge on that subject I can impart comes second and third-hand from friends and friends of friends:

“Tinder/Bumble is a dead end. Hinge is the way to go about it.”  —Anonymous

Now, I promised you romance and by God I am going to deliver it…along with a little advice from Dr. Taylor Alison Swift.

“There doesn’t have to be loneliness in being alone and you can find romance in your life even if you aren’t involved in a romance.” —Taylor Swift  

I found that video scrolling on Instagram the day before I left to go abroad and it has honestly transformed the way I’ve approached this very exciting new chapter of my life.

As I’m sure you know, every great romance starts with a little bit of gratitude and a lot of self-awareness. I’ve been spending a lot of my free time here alone, learning to enjoy my own company. There is so much power in defining yourself on your own terms. I’m learning to honor myself by saying no to the things I don’t want to do and prioritizing the things that I do. There’s no better place to learn how to be direct than in Germany. It’s one thing to know yourself and another to respect what you want and who you happen to be.

There’s this very romantic idea of what it means to study abroad that can be somewhat damaging to the actual experience of it. My therapist told me as much when I told her I would be going to Germany this semester. Studying abroad is going to cafés and walking past buildings built when women were still being burned at the stake, but its also eating lunch by yourself at 1 pm because it is 4 am where your best friend lives. It is also locking yourself out of your flat and having to pay 45€ to get back in. It’s definitely doesn’t feel like a movie. It’s definitely no Roman Holiday (1953), but there definitely ways to make it feel like a 21st-century low-budget television adaptation of it. All you have to do is find romance (usually in the form of gratitude) in the simple, little things in life—a bird chirping outside your window or the way the sun hits your 25€ Ikea sheets in the morning. It’s so easy to take for granted what’s always been there like friends or ingredient lists in English. I’ve found so much joy in documenting this experience by journaling and taking an absurd amount of photos of anything and everything that catches my looking-and-seeing eyes…mostly because I have a terrible memory, but also because it forces me to slowdown and pause for a second.

All this to say, studying abroad is what you make of it. You are the only person that is always gonna be there, so you might as well learn to like that person and treat them right. Buy that piece of cake. Talk to strangers (responsibly). Ask questions. Take note. Take pictures of everything—iCloud storage be damned. Hug that tree. Lie down on the mossy floor of the Black Forest, then check for ticks. Smile at the old man on the tram who is giving you funny looks. Have fun with it! To spend time being embarrassed would be a waste of the precious time you have here. Life is short and your time studying abroad is even shorter, so do your best to make the most of it.

I think that’s enough thinking for now. Rest assured I will be back soon with a little more practical content and advice that is actually helpful.

Song of the Moment: Right Now by Gracie Abrams <3

Cover Image: Shawn Mendes from Instagram

For more on being alone, check out Emma Chamberlains podcast episode “alone but not lonely” only on Spotify.